Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
Randomize
