i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
