Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
