omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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