The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
Did we literally take a cab across the street
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
