There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Randomize
