That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
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