They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
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His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
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My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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