I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Randomize
