you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
Randomize
