He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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