Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize
