New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
