he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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