ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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