You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
Randomize
