Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
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