Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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