Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Randomize
