I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
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