and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize
