Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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