If that was your dad, he is hot
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
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