Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
Randomize
