i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
