I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
