69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
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