going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Randomize