Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
I checked into jail on foursquare
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Randomize
