That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
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