its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
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His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
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Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
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