I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Randomize