She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
