so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
