If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
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