so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
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