I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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