So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
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