Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
We're not piercing ourselves today.
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Randomize
