I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
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