His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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