ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
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