we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Randomize