He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
Randomize
