You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
Randomize
