don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize
