I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
my phone needs a breathalizer
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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