Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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