I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize