i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Randomize