dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
Tell her she can't have a vagina
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
Randomize
