he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
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