I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
You know, be my cock's hype man.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
