What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Randomize
