i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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