Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
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