I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Randomize
